[Community Anti-Bucket List Stories] Interviewing: B”H

Today I am interviewing B”H, who is also a blogger and a good friend of mine. He blogs over at mynextthousand.com, where he chronicles his own personal finance journey. B”H also has a fantastic legacy binder, which is a series of worksheets designed to help everyone think through the things that are important for their loved ones to know when they pass. Best of all – this detailed printable is FREE. Check it out at his other site: myfreelegacybinder.com.

I had the chance to ask B”H some questions this week about his own anti-bucket list journey:

Rachael: Recently we were talking about hobbies – and although I’m sure you are much more at home with money and spreadsheets, you agreed to try something that I know is challenging for you: to learn a new language. It was on your list of hobbies, but I know it’s also something you’ve avoided doing until now. Which language did you start with and why did you choose that one?

B”H: My dream future is living in New Mexico and vacationing in Malta. Well, the languages of Malta are Maltese and Italian, so I figured it would be more practical to learn Spanish. My high school Spanish teacher would be proud and very surprised.

Rachael: And what prompted you to finally take up language learning again, knowing this was probably a difficult choice for you?

B”H: You inspired me to. I have been resting on my laurels and needing a hobby for a while. When you suggested we both practice our Spanish, I felt I had an accountabilibuddy. That motivated me to start, and then I realized I’m not so bad at this – and I enjoy it. Plus, Duolingo makes it fun.

Rachael: I know you recently started on this, so you may not see the benefits quite yet, but I always maintain though that the first thing you tackle on your anti-bucket list is the most significant because it signifies a shift in thinking.  Have you found facing your fears or discomfort with learning a language helpful to your life in other ways too?

 B”H: Getting started on language-learning (which has always, always scared me) has been a real confidence booster, and it’s very engaging in what normally would have been quarantine-do-nothing-soul-draining time.

Rachael: Do you have any advice for people who are facing something hard and need courage to take that first step?

B”H: Sometimes you really need to stop thinking and just take a step. Once you get moving, you begin appreciating your decision and your progress. If it isn’t for you, you can always change course, but you’ve narrowed out something that may not be your speed. That’s much better than staying stuck at the crossroads wracking your brain over which direction to go.

Rachael: Out of curiosity, do you have an anti-bucket list that you’d be willing to share (or even just the next thing on that list that you want to face)? It’s ok if you don’t; I know I’m putting you on the spot here! πŸ™‚

 B”H: Well, some items I’ve been working on have been grad school (nearly finished my first class with an A) and addiction recovery (I’m in two 12-step fellowships). In fact, today makes 18 months sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous and this past Tuesday made 4 months in my other program. I’m really excited because none of this seemed possible 18 months ago.

My next quest is to balance my vices – which for me means not only cutting out heavy addictions but also minimizing other vices like soft drinks, cookie dough, cookies, ice cream, and pizza. These aren’t as serious, but I need to find a healthy emotional balance with them or cut them out if necessary. I heard a doctor refer to addictive behaviors as hiding and it rang true. I’d like to hide less and experience more even when it makes me uncomfortable to do so. I’m certain these experiences will be profoundly life-changing.

I also hope to improve my ability to commit to a course of action whether it’s an hour of deep work or a career. I feel when I escape less often through vices, I will gain clarity about my true priorities and develop a long view of my life.

Rachael: Love your insights, B”H! I’m excited and happy for you and the progress you’ve made towards your goals. You inspire me too, you know!

I know you are a busy guy, between your work and your school right now, so thank you for taking the time out of your week to answer these questions! πŸ™‚ It’s been great getting the chance to talk with you.

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